Beauty tip: take care of the soul

I've been writing so far of some of my philosophical leanings and fashion tips for cowgirls, along with a few faux pas nightmares.  I thought it was time to take it up a notch and share some of my beauty favorites.

Firstly, I look up to both my mother and my former mother-in-law to share their secrets to eternal beauty:  one is 80 and the other is 90!  Neither one wears makeup per se, although my mother is a fan of foundation and hair styling that suits her style, lifestyle, and personality.

What both of them do, day in, and day out are simple basics we've been told for years:

• wash your face at least twice a day:  morning and before bed
• no gimics or expensive products in their cabinets
• both have been using "Oil of Olay" as their must do daily
• take care of your soul:  spirituality, church, beliefs 
• an alcoholic beverage is what you have one of when you socialize
• commitment to their husbands for 50 years in sickness and in health
• biggest fans of their children, grandchildren with pride, love, support

Sounds elementary to me too.  Yet we all get caught up at the drugstore or department store beauty counter, buying up magical potions and fixer uppers.  

The one thing I do share with my younger counterparts in the 20, 30 and 40 age group is acne.  Yeppers, I thought that that ended with wrinkles or the very least menopause.  However, stress, turmoil, inner satisfaction with one's life does exude through our pores.

No wonder they say that a women who is pregnant is incredibly beautiful!  They are sticking to the natural like white on rice.   They abstain from any toxins like their body is a temple.  Factoring in they are directly responsible for the formation of that beautiful being growing inside them.  Alcohol, hell no!  Smoking, you gotta be kidding me!  

Accounting for what you put in your body is part of your beauty regime.  Drink lots of water, stay away from soda pop most of the time, eat fruits, vegetables and a salad with every meal.  

I found a few wonderful discoveries to battle the skin wars -- easily found in drug stores, pharmacies and even grocery stores:

Founder of Burt's Bees

This natural spot treatment is clinically proven to help reduce and improve the appearance of blemishes without irritating skin. Formulated with Tea Tree, Calendula, Yarrow and Parsley Extracts to help care for troubled skin and reduce redness and Borage Extract to promot healthy skin resulting in clean and smooth skin, naturally. Dermatologist tested. Noncomedogenic.

I put this on after my nightly washing, moisturizing on the spots that are breaking out.  It is categorized under "sensitive skin" which I can relate to.

Another wonder find is a toner that we can find even in nutrition and vitamin stores with the regulars:  witch hazel ... one that everyone can afford!  Use it as a toner after you wash, bathe or shower.

I will continue to uncover beauty secrets of the pros and the should-be-pros for all to benefit from.  If you have your own ideas, secrets, and/or tips ... let me know!

#FAST forward force

Hitting the big 5-0 rarely seems like a breeze for anyone.  Mid-life crisis, empty nest syndrome, sagging muscles, self realization, and a great number of thoughts float through our inner peace.  When you are in your teens your are into the moment, 20s into the future, 30s survival, 40s breeze and 50s panic. 

Pablo Picasso

When you arrive in this point in your life, your self conscious goals leep into your present mind, to question whether you have accomplished what you were thinking you would by now, while young enough to still regroup and make the most of life.

Realization that health is paramount strikes like a snake ready to bite you.  Have you looked after yourself as well as you could of?  Are you happy in love with your partner and content to sail through to your twilight years with your choice.  Or, become restless wanting to be who you are meant to be.

Younger people think you are OLD by now - and that insults you.  Do you try to make up for that by stylizing yourself to look hip, happening and carefree?  What about settling in to the present, give yourself credit for the multiple of hurdles you've overcome to arrive at where you are instead of bitterness towards life, people, events?  You cannot change the past and you can't predict the future.  You can only control what you do today in this present minute.

You have it within yourself to make decisions of magnitude proportions.  Wipe the slate clean.  Forget the unforgettable.  Forgive the unforgiveable.  Move forward towards the unknown with an optimism that will most likely extend your life, settle your restlessness and guide you to make a difference today.

If you MUST.  Do an inventory.  Not materialistically, because that is a losing battle.  The likelihood of winning the lottery is unrealistic.  Think of your parents, relatives, and consider them in their 70s and 80s and if lucky beyond.  Did the turmoil in their younger years settle down and gracefully guide them?  Do you recognize their  wisdom to know what can be done now, in the present?  Do you listen?  Learn from that reflection.  It will give you strength to embrace all the great things you have and may be in store. 

 Grasp you spirituality, write, enjoy art, photography, and all those things that bring you inner joy.  Color, doodle, go for walks in a park and breath in the air, enjoy the fresh smell of cut grass.  Spend every spare moment with friends and loved ones who bring you joy. 

You are no longer in a space in your life where you are judged by your accomplishments as much as by how you look -- exuding optimism, not regrets, making others want to be in your sphere.  Wisdom is yours to dispense, don't waste it on anyone who doesn't want to listen.  Even if you know that they are on a rocky road and understand that there is nothing you can do to prevent it.  Be there to listen, give advice when only asked. 

You've made it this far and many others consider you young.  Don't waste your time on anything or anyone who  makes you feel old.   Don't deny your age by behavior that shouts to the world that you are having trouble dealing with it.  The world doesn't care.  It is your issue.  Recoup and file away that fight for eternal youth.  Appreciate you have arrived where you are from pain, regrets, disappointments ... let go of the heart's battle scars. 

Homage to Pablo Picasso by John Nolan

Be creative in your zone.  Write, blog, take photography lessons, a financial course ... whatever floats your boat.  It is only your's to embrace.  You have the power and force to sail through this phase regardless of the bumps you had to reach it.  Understand and be empowered knowing and observing that others are climbing those past hills, that you survived and brought you survival.  Be proud of who you are.  Forgive if you haven't been the inventor, psychologist, artist, writer, business whiz you thought you were or would continue to be.  You have a roof over your head, love in your heart, food in your belly and innovation to be whimsical.  Aging forgives that and allows you to do that.  You are no longer in judgment mode, you are in being mode.

You haven't arrived at your destination.  You are still on a journey.  How you handle it will determine the strength of character you possess.  Be a positive inspiration to those around you who marvel at your grace, class, and distinction.

"Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind.  It doesn't matter."
                                                        ~Mark Twain

Pablo Picasso

 

Want what you have

As I write this blog it evolves.  Primarily experimental or experiential, depending on my writing and who is reading it.  What I include are items that strike my fancy weighed by my mood or circumstances. 

Where we live and how we live are important to many of us.  Creating creature comforts and having the best life has to offer is a priority for many, a reality for the lucky and dreams for others. 

There are destructive emotions we should avoid for our daily health and wellbeing.  They are emotions that can deteriorate and replace a positive outlook outside of events or occurrence that impact us that we cannot control.  For example:

• Envy:  wanting what others have. 
• Jealousy: anger at what others want to possess.
• Resentment:  remorse for opportunities passing by.
• Bitterness:  unable to let bygones be bygones.
• Greed:  possessiveness without sharing.
• Pride:  giving importance to others opinions
• Arrogance:  smugness in accomplishments
• Superiority:  thinking one is better than others
• Vanity:  putting appearance before anything else
• Ego:  destructive self perception
• Emotional:  going from one mood extreme to another
• Conceit:  self absorbed promotion, better than others
• Cruel:  punishing other people or animals; heartless
• Pretentious: braggart, opinionated, loud, boastful
• Intolerant:  rigid boundaries that are limiting
• Prejudice: biased, narrow judgment, racism, stereotype
• Narcissism:  self-motivated by  the obstruction of others 
• Difficult:  demanding, narrow, unrelenting
• Selfish:  protecting opinion and possessions
• Defiant:  Going against the rules, radical, aggressive

There are so many better characteristics we should aspire to replace or offset the destructive ones:

• Humility:  putting others accomplishments ahead
• Modesty:  non bragging on achievements
• Forgiving:  allowing others wrongs to be undone
• Charitable:  giving of self or possessions
• Understanding:  open-minded, permitting others views
• Accepting: allowing other's differences
• Easy going:  flexible, liberal, adaptable
• Admirable:  looked up to by others, a positive example
• Generous: fruitfulness in actions and charitable giving
• Humanity:  putting others first, caring about people
• Philanthropic: using personal resources to gift others
• Positive:  outlook, attitude, viewpoint, example
• Balanced: composed, stable, adjusted, together
• Compliant:  obedience of rules, embrace guidance
• Inquisitiveness:  wanting to learn, accept new knowledge
• Calm:  steady, understanding negativity, even tempered

We're not perfect by any means.  That is why, I imagine, religion, godliness is what some of us aspire to grasp onto when our personal resources are depleted.   I'm not saying having beliefs in religion is a cop out.  What I am saying is having those beliefs gives us permission to look for a better approach to living and life.

We should be careful not to sway too far the other way.  There are some qualities, held in check, that can be good for us.  In many situations, we should have one stabilized with another. Being too far in one direction can hamper or restrict one's life, be harmful to our health, or increase our stress levels:

Shyness:  anxious,  introverted, fearful, withdrawn
Timid:  passive, non-assertive, quiet, silent,
Submissive:  giving up, allowing others control, avoidance
Silent:  Mute, noiseless, inaudible, still hushed,
Intimidated:  allowing others control, afraid, soundless
Victimized:  harmed, casualty, fatality, prey
Rigid:  steadfast to position, belief, opinion, immobile
Placid:  docile, unfeeling, cold
Stressed:  out of control, inability to meet needs, crowded

Ride along with me on this journey. 
Don't tackle everything at once.  If you have heard or sense what others perceive in you, good or bad, right or wrong.  Take one destructive point and take an opposing quality.  By doing so, we will move towards fulfillment, contentment and wellness. 

I thought of this blog when originally thinking to consolidate some of the items I promoted because they attracted my attentions and desires.  I've noticed how well blogs that promote other brands, products, fashions.  So, I included them.  Then I got to thinking that wanting things, looks, materialism can be destructive and how it is all about balance.  For example, if you want a vacation, you may still have obligations or financial restrictions that won't allow you to just book it.  However, having goals are fueled by those desires that drive you to want to reach those things, places, looks.

I think it is healthy to admire things without allowing envy to enter the equation.  That also allows us to give permission to share ideas and embrace others' ideas.  It can bring acceptance or dissatisfaction. 

How we handle it individually is what makes our world open to new possibilities.  Don't beat yourself up because you bond with something pleasing to your eye or opens up new ideas. 

Here are some images that appeal to me:

Big windows where light can seeps in.  Lots of seating for lots of friends and family to hang out at.  I love the soothing blend of the calm colors with the stone and woodwork.

 



 

 

 

Sometimes you just have to get out of the house to be in a peaceful, quaint setting.  I like meeting new people and it is often in a setting with coffee and big comfy chairs.  Sometimes it is just reading the newspaper, a magazine, enjoying a coffee someone else made.

 

 

Solitude is beneficial.  Being extroverted with history of a hectic household, demanding job, putting demands on myself, it is just nice to get away.  A walk on this path is not far off and within reach of me.  Being reminded is healthy.  Being afraid of bears and animals intruding on my wanders is a reality even if it is not necessarily a risk.

 



I won't get into the drama (this time at least) surrounding my vehicle saga.  I've had a Mini Cooper S and a Mercedes and driving a practical Hyundai Elantra right now.  This falls under the "wouldn't it be great to have" category.

This reminded me of when I did the design of my back deck, drawing it out by hand, this was very similar and included a hot tub.  I was a solo-mom at the time and considered all the factors of how practical one would be.  Visions of a bunch of little kids jumping in and splashing around interrupted my image of quietness, glass of wine, soft music.  I was already accustomed to adding another plate or three for dinner.  I wasn't prepared to share something like this.  Then the reality of daily maintenance and ongoing upkeep eliminated it from my list.



I am an admitted clothes horse.  I tend to plan what I am going to wear in advance.  I imagine gaps in colors, accessories and the like to give me an excuse to go shopping.

I am not a grab anything throw it on type of gal.  I do spend time visualizing my wardrobe, accessories, purses and shoes to put together an outfit for usually the next day.  Even if it is just hanging around the house or running errands.  That sounds extreme as I write this.  Well, we all have our perks and quirks.

I rediscovered Polymore because it appeals to that part of me that likes to imagine looks put together.  The challenge is finding things I already have that can successfully be used to achieve these looks.    
 
Ramping up for the Calgary Stampede which will be upon Calgary early July, my focus has circulated around fashion must haves and fashion looks to go hand in hand with the Country vibe for the summer.



MOOD swinging

Every day is a new day and a new beginning.  What we do with our time is important.  It is one of our most valuable resources.

Yesterday, I talked about getting into the ZEN of living life.  Taking a day to goof off, do nothing but what strikes one's fancy.  We should all have a power down day.  Rethink, regroup and regain momentum for living life to the fullest.

After I wrote the blog about doing nothing but relaxZEN, I made up for it in the evening.  I'm not nocturnal by nature, nor am I an early riser.   Last evening after hubby and I watched an episode of the final season 7 of Sons of Anarchy, I painted a flower pot for the garden, scrubbed the floor - yeah, I know, really related eh?  I didn't mention I was swigging the wine to fuel the creativity and boost the energy.  Admittedly, it hampered my productivity today somewhat.

By golly, I realized, I truly am in the middle of everything:

• Middle aged
• Mid career
• Mid life crisis
• Mood swinger
• Menopausal
• Mother
• Magnificent

It wasn't a complete waste because I spent a number of times on the phone with my youngest daughter, who moved to Vancouver last August, got a job in 10 days with the top law offices and was let go last week ... something about restructuring, consolidating and seniority decision making.  Right after a booming, glowing performance review the month before.  Yep, that's life.  She'll be 21 next month and is smarter in many ways than I was at her age.

We had a really good chuckle when I referred to myself as the "Fired Master" and she called me the "Fire Queen".  She's already had a number of calls and interviews lined up.  I'm thankful that she calls me every day and when crisis strikes it can be multiple times (it used to be typically boyfriend related, but she has an awesome beau now).

Today, it was about weeding the garden a bit, moving flowers around and touching up the flower pot from wine-induced painting outside the lines. 

When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping was my slogan in my 40s, when hard work paid off with high career which meant hard decisions.  I work now, but it is shift oriented.  I spent my 30s raising kids while climbing the career ladder.  I spent my 40s recoiling from divorce and remarrying.  Now that I've hit 50, I want everything to be about balance.  It doesn't matter any more if I have a title.  What is important is doing a good job .... taking what I have preached to my kids for years:  it doesn't matter whether you're the janitor or the boss, do a great job regardless!

Oh, I better get going.  I have a sizzling dinner on the BBQ:  boneless, skinless chicken that had been marinating in a jar of gluten free Satay sauce with white potatoes and salad.  I took pride in using the fresh herbs I started growing last year that makes the mouth water and adds such magnificent flavor.

Great news about chocolate considered a dairy product - I didn't realize that chocolate was part of the daily food group.  Who doesn't love chocolate?  (Anyone who isn't menopausal and gives a rats ass about diet).

I guess my mood today is more about being helpful and healthy.  On that tone, I added favorite blogs to Meanderings.  There are some that have been favorites for years (i.e. Animated Woman and Rodney Pikes) with a few newly discovered to share.  It goes with the helpful, healthy mood today.

relaxZEN

"When you've done the technical part, you're then into the joy, the zen, into being.  Technology no longer exists for you.  You're then into the mystery of the thing you're doing."

 

~William Shatner

I had a number of things to do today on a day off.  However, I did think to myself yesterday that I would give myself a day of nothing.  Nothing to do, no chores, no coffee with friends, no work, no thinking - notta, nope, not gonna, nevermind.

So what I did instead was go to Polymore (which I hadn't been for months) to create a look and feel for doing nothing but relax and be in the moment. 

I used the word Zen in my post title and realized that there are probably a number of mutations to what the word really meant, so I looked it up on the handy dandy Wikipedia:

Zen
Zen is a school of Mahayana Buddhism that developed in China during the Tang dynasty as Chán. From China, Chán spread south to Vietnam, northeast to Korea and east to Japan, where it became known as Japanese Zen.


Zen emphasizes rigorous meditation-practice, insight into Buddha-nature, and the personal expression of this insight in daily life, especially for the benefit of others.^[3][4] As such, it deemphasizes mere knowledge of sutras and doctrine^[5][6] and favors direct understanding through zazen and interaction with an accomplished teacher.^[7]


Huh?  I thought it was all about being at peace with oneself and one's environment.  I guess I have a little bit more learning to do.

To share my expressiveness today, this is what I created on Polyvore (when I should have been doing something else: housework, paperwork, etc.)

The one thing I did do was take my dog, Buddy, for a walk.  We both enjoyed it. 

"My blogging life is basically goalless.  I like the zen nature of that, and paradoxically, it improves results."

~Seth Godin